Rock Cakes
by Rumour of an Alchemist
Summary: In an alternate universe, Hogwarts' half-giant groundskeeper, Rubeus Hagrid, is determined to use old, dark, magic to rescue one of his favourite pupils from a horrible fate. One-shot. Warning: Horror!


Disclaimer: I am not J. K. Rowling. I do not own Harry Potter.

Warning! (Implied) horror!

Note: This takes place in an alternate universe, where Rubeus Hagrid, resorts to extreme measures to save a beautiful little doomed girl.

* * *

'_Fee-fi-fo-fum, _

_ I smell the blood of an Englishman. _

_ Be he live, or be he dead, _

_ I'll grind his bones to make my bread._'

- words of the giant in 'Jack and the Beanstalk', a traditional English story.

* * *

The moment he saw her get off the train, Rubeus Hagrid knew what he might have to do. He tagged along to watch the sorting, and saw her sorted into Gryffindor, and the die was cast.

She had no hope now. Not the little red haired girl with green eyes. Well not for herself. Rubeus could still save her from the awful destiny which he knew awaited.

Maybe.

* * *

Rubeus Hagrid wasn't surprised when the girl came to see him, inquisitive about the Hogwart's groundkeeper. She was a bonny little thing, polite and nice, and marked by doom.

Rubeus had seen the future though. He was half-giant, and he sometimes saw things like that.

He invited her in to tea, and she accepted, not at all scared.

Poor little innocent thing.

Such a cruel world and fate waiting for her.

Unless Rubeus could change it.

There _were_ ways of cheating destiny, after all.

* * *

She kept calling, occasionally bringing one of her friends, and the groundskeeper could take it, in the end, no longer.

He ventured into the Hogwarts library and started browsing the restricted section, and the books kept there written in the letters of the giants.

Dumbledore was a great man, but sometimes a bit blind, and most of his predecessors had been fools.

These books shouldn't have been in the restricted section. They should have been burnt and in ashes, if witches and wizards had any sense and realised what they were.

Well except for the bit where witches and wizards just thought that this was all a bunch of nonsense, and that giants couldn't possibly have known any kind of magic at all, least of all magic which didn't involve wands or bubbling cauldrons.

Well, _technically_ this might be considered to involve _maybe_ bubbling cauldrons, but not bubbling cauldrons of potions.

The books Rubeus Hagrid was looking through were more by way of being cookbooks.

And they were the little redheaded girl's salvation. And possible damnation, but she was doomed by wyrd anyway the moment that the hat had put her in Gryffindor, and the groundskeeper considered that anything which guaranteed her survival worth almost any price.

* * *

Getting some of the ingredients proved tricky, although not as tricky as Rubeus Hagrid had feared. Dumbledore (a great man, surely) gave the half-giant leave to visit some of the seedier parts of wizarding London, in his capacity as Hogwarts groundskeeper, and with a bit of work the half-giant was able to discover reasons for some of the things he wanted, which would cause no questions.

"Roses." he'd explain what he need one purchase for, and the shopkeeper would nod sagely and take his money.

"The smell of it encourages certain beasties ter stay away, in the depths of the forest where they belong." he'd say to another shopkeeper, who'd hand the stuff over, and not ask any further questions. These were men and women who sold dodgy things to criminals and dark wizards, and they seemed almost relieved to be selling such things to an honest simpleton such as the Hogwarts groundskeeper for once.

But Rubeus Hagrid wasn't a simpleton.

He was just a bit slow, at times, and liked to be thorough in what he did.

And he was going to save the beautiful little redhead, and though it would take time, he had that in plenty right now.

Which was just as well, because he had to experiment and make sure he got the old recipes _just_ right, and work out which might be the best to use.

And he had roses to grow, and stuff to spread, because Rubeus Hagrid was no fool, and if he was telling shopkeepers in Knockturn that he was buying things for certain purposes, it was best that it be seen that he _was_ actually using those things for those purposes.

Just not using up _all_ of those things for those ends.

* * *

The friends she brought around with her sometimes proved a nuisance. It took him some time to figure out a way of making sure that when the time came, only Lily would be affected.

In the end, he worked out he could do it with the rock cakes.

Lily (all the old gods bless her) was a polite and enthusiastic young lady and would eat _anything_ he put in front of her. His rock cakes, however, quickly developed a reputation amongst her friends for being uneatable.

That made life so much easier for him.

He could do it with the rock cakes. Problem solved.

He started his plan partway into her second year, with a very small quantity of 'special' stuff mixed in with his regular rock cake recipe, and as usual, as he'd hoped Lily was the only one of his visitors who'd touch the things.

He'd started off small, because he needed her to become accustomed to it, before he increased the proportion, because that was the way to do this.

He watched her eat a couple and 'take one away for later', and was relieved when she came back the next time that they'd arranged between them, seemingly not having noticed anything, or in anyway different.

After several more weeks, he reckoned this was going to work, and over the summer, he went to see Aragog, to make arrangements.

He needed acromantula silk, and lots of it. Enough to weave a shroud.

* * *

It was in Lily's fourth year, when the unexpected slip happened.

Lily came to see him one evening, and she looked worried.

"I think there was something wrong with one of those buns I took away with me." she said. "I gave it to a friend and made him eat it, and he was horribly ill."

"Which friend?" the groundskeeper asked, allowing himself to look as worried as he felt.

"Severus Snape. You won't have seen him with me here, because he's a Slytherin, and he doesn't like to be seen with me around the school because of this silly Gryffindor-Slytherin rivalry thing and his stupid housemates. He was violently sick for most of last night, in between horrible dreams. He's been in the infirmary most of today, and Madam Pomfrey doesn't know what's wrong with him."

That was hardly surprising. The groundskeeper had gradually changed the proportions he used, until it was now just about three quarters old recipe, to one quarter 'normal' rock cake. Lily had been consuming the stuff for so long that she could take it in those concentrations, and the recipe was doing its proper stuff on her – the Hogwarts groundskeeper had noticed the subtle changes starting in the past month or two – but the effect such a bun would have on anyone else would be not so fortunate.

He _did_ have something readied for this eventuality though – what a witch or wizard with minimal understanding of the old magic of the giants would call an antidote.

"Some of the ingredients must have been off." the groundskeeper said. "I've got a bottle of something which'll fix him up, I reckon, in no time at all." He pulled a very particular bottle out of a rack of beer bottles which he kept to hand.

It fixed Severus Snape up, alright, but Severus insisted on accompanying Lily occasionally, now, to see the Hogwarts groundskeeper, and on trying further rock cakes to see if they produced a repeat of the previous effect on him. Severus Snape was a Slytherin, and one full of suspicions, right now.

Rubeus had to take to having two plates of rock cakes ready for the rest of the term – one of normal ones and one of his special ones for Lily – in case the Snape boy showed up. If he was there, or expected, it was the normal ones he offered, otherwise the specials could be employed.

Gradually, Severus Snape became distracted by the inter-house war situation, the social conventions his housemates expected him to abide by, and by something to do with the Gryffindor werewolf Dumbledore was keeping in the school, and things got back to normal.

The groundskeeper didn't let off having two plates ready, though for the rest of that school year, but even with that slight disruption he reckoned he was well on track, still, for Hallowe'en in Lily's fifth year.

It would be good. Rubeus Hagrid would save her.

* * *

One evening in September at the start of Lily's fifth year Rubeus Hagrid returned to his hut to find the Snape boy there, wand drawn and waiting for him as the half-giant walked in through the door.

The Hogwarts groundskeeper had been expecting this. He'd had premonitions, and discovered that the Snape boy had been looking around the library ever since the start of term. He'd been asking after dictionaries of Old Giant, too.

Rubeus Hagrid noted that his umbrella was still folded up in the umbrella stand and reckoned he could probably deal with the Snape boy, if necessary. The boy didn't know enough about the half-giant, and clearly thought he had the upper hand.

"What are you doing to Lily?" the Snape boy asked, his eyes gleaming dangerously, and venom in his voice.

The groundskeeper knew from recent staff gossip that the boy had had some sort of run-in with the gang of Gryffindors who called themselves 'Marauders' and had nearly been expelled for it, even though they had been the ones trying to kill him. He knew now that the boy was practically friendless, a butt of the jokes by his own house, and only defended by Lily. He knew that if Snape did permanently disappear the only one who would be upset by it was Lily and she might get over it.

_Might_.

And besides, the half-giant could see that the Snape boy cared deeply and dangerously about Lily. Maybe as much as he did, himself.

It wasn't as if there weren't rumours going around about some of the things which _Severus Snape_ was dabbling in, either.

"This would be bad for her ter know, but she's doomed ter die on All Hallow's Eve, six years hence." the half-giant said. "I'm tryin' ter fix that."

"Fix it precisely _how_?" the Snape boy asked.

"By makin' sure dooms can't stick themselves ter her." the half-giant said. "Yeh've been readin' in the library, I hear. Yeh must have seen that there are ways I could do that."

"If what's in some of those books is _real_." the Snape boy said. His eyes followed the groundskeeper as he started to pace, but the half-giant was careful to keep his distance. He had no intention of getting close to the Snape boy and his wand, and the Snape boy mistakenly thought that he was safe, so long as the groundskeeper kept his distance. He was allowing Rubeus to pace near the umbrella stand, without seeming unduly alarmed. "Are you doing whatever it is with Lily's consent?"

"It doesn't work that way." the half-giant shook his head. "She can't know until it's done."

"In that case, you can stop doing it, whatever it is." the Snape boy began. "If I hear that she's been around here for rock cakes again…"

The Hogwarts groundskeeper pulled his pink umbrella out of the stand and with the greatest regret hit Snape with a _stupefy_ whilst he was still gaping in surprise.

He stared down thoughtfully at the comatose boy, reckoning.

If there wasn't about a month and a half to go, he would have had to do something more permanent, but as it was, there were things he could maybe do…

* * *

"It's horrible what they did to Severus." Lily said, her eyes bright and her frame fidgety today. "Dragging him into the forest, and leaving him like that for the beasts. Madam Pomfrey thinks it might be mid-November, at the earliest, before he opens his eyes again. And it was so fortunate that you happened on the scene like that in time to save him."

"It's nothin'." said the Rubeus Hagrid. "I'm just pleased ter have stumbled on yer friend like that."

It had been simplicity itself to drag Severus Snape into the Forbidden Forest, toss him into a nest of certain dark creatures, and to play the rescuing hero (having left evidence implicating the Marauders).

By the time Severus was opening his eyes again, let alone speaking, this would all safely be over, and as an added bonus those Marauders had got detention up until Christmas, and James Potter had had his invisibility cloak confiscated. The half-giant didn't like the Marauders. They were playing at becoming animals, without showing due reverence to the old gods.

The Marauders had protested their innocence of course, but they'd protested their innocence so many other times when they _had_ been guilty, that nobody believed them this time when they actually weren't the perpetrators of a misdeed.

"Toe-rags, the lot of them." Lily said. She eyed the plate of rock buns. "May I have another?" she giggled. "After all, I'm a growing girl, and they're _so_ delicious I can't resist them. I even dream about them, these days."

"Be my guest." The half-giant waved, generously. "Yeh and Severus are the only ones I know who appreciate them."

He poured himself another mug of tea, and watched her eat…

* * *

Author Notes:

As I mentioned in the opening notes, this is set in an alternate universe. I doubt canon Hagrid would get involved in something quite like this. And this _is_ indicated as horror.

I wrote the initial draft of this story using just 'Hagrid' as the name. Then I remembered that canon is from Harry Potter's point of view, and that the Hogwarts groundskeeper is actually called _Rubeus_ Hagrid - and that since this is from the latter's point of view, it wouldn't make much sense to refer to him by only a surname. I'm not sure if the resultant editing pass fixed this or not, and I may need to come back to tweak it a bit more.

This particular short story was inspired by a thought I had whilst writing something else, that in English folklore and traditional stories certain giants and 'ogre' relations are into eating humans, and from there I trailed off into the idea of what if there was actually a form of dark (or at least 'old') magic in the Harry Potter universe, where giants used bone meal flour to some end for special rituals and events?

Which alongside another idea ongoing at the time led to the possibility of the resident Hogwarts keeper of the keys and grounds maybe trying to use such old giant magic to try and 'save' one of his favourite pupils from a horrible fate. (After all, it's for the greater good, which the headmaster occasionally goes on about, right?)

Since that favourite pupils happens to be Lily Evans, Severus Snape was bound to get involved at some point before the end. This particular version of Severus works out what the half-giant is doing and duly confronts him. It's not so much what Rubeus Hagrid is trying to turn Lily into which bothers Severus in the end, as that it's being done without her informed consent. I concluded a fifth-year pupil Severus Snape probably wouldn't have the faintest idea about Hagrid's umbrella/wand though, and that he'd be so busy gaping with a pink umbrella pointing at him that he wouldn't have time to get off a spell before Hagrid could _stupefy_ him.

Hagrid left Severus alive because he didn't want Lily so upset/concerned that she might stop calling round to see him, or have her appetite affected. Severus is out of action for long enough that Hagrid can wrap up his little project (with a shroud of acromantula silk, from which she will emerge transformed into something not-quite-of-this-world) the coming Hallowe'en...


End file.
